Review: Ghouls Rush In by H.P. Mallory

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“Looking for a fresh start, Peyton Clark becomes the proud owner of a piece of New Orleans history: an Antebellum-era two-story house in the Garden District. It’s going to take time and a fat wallet to restore the fixer-upper to its former glory, but after her recent divorce, Peyton could use the distraction.

It’s not long before Peyton discovers she’s moved into the haunted home of a flirtatious paranormal prankster. She’s receiving kisses from unseen lips and caresses from a ghostly hand, and soon she begins to have vivid dreams, bringing her face-to-face with the incomparably handsome ghost of Drake Montague.

When Peyton grows closer to her general contractor, Ryan Kelly—who is as charming as he is alive—the chill in the air could only suggest Drake’s jealousy from beyond the grave. But even though she’s definitely attracted to and interested in Ryan, Peyton also can’t get Drake out of her dreams, or her heart, as she begins to uncover the frightening truth behind his death a century ago…”

I went into reading this book with an open mind. It was Halloween and I really enjoy paranormal romances (as evidenced by my love affair with Simone St. James) and I’m not averse to some fluffy, fun reads. I’m finishing up with uni and feel like I can’t compute more than easy, fun books right now, but this left me seriously disappointed.

This book followed Peyton, a recently divorced woman who moves to New Orleans and begins to renovate her miraculously acquired historic mansion. It starts raining and her neighbour drops by to check she hasn’t electrocuted herself to death. Cue extreme case of instalove.

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Next minute, we’re being introduced to Drake Montague, the ghost of a French policeman who used to live in her house. He’s got some mad instalove for Peyton as well (which boggles my mind, as she’s not particularly interesting or intelligent, and her description doesn’t leave me thinking she’s exceptionally stunning either, but no, every male loves her). Drake informs her that there’s a very nasty entity trying to take over her house and kill her.

First, let me deal with the blurb. Did the person who wrote it even read the book? There were no ghostly caresses. What utter nonsense. I was excited for some sexed up The Ghost and Mrs Muir type story, which this book is definitely not. The blurb got me enthusiastic for the story, then as it’s a huge lie, why shouldn’t I be disappointed?

The way Drake spoke was ridiculous. I don’t speak French, but do we really need absolutely every line he speaks translated? Why not just have him speak English with a few French words thrown in? It was jarring and useless.

The way everyone spoke was ridiculous, for that matter. The “Southern” dialect was achieved by dropping consonants willy nilly. The conversations were ridiculous and would never happen in real life, particularly the flirting, which was just cringeworthy. The whole thing was badly done, even for a romance novel. I should have read the excerpt on Amazon, which would have told me immediately how bad the writing style is… but I was just too excited about the prospect of a fun read.

This book also gave me a new addition to my “Bad Romance Euphemism Hall of Fame”: describing kissing as tongues “mating” TWICE.

Mating?! Really??!

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Peyton was absolutely ditzy and annoying. She spent her whole time swooning over Ryan and being a general idiot. There was so much that could have been done with her character, so much that was hinted at but never followed up on, which was really disappointing. She was supposed to be finding her independence after years of being abused by her ex-husband, so why is she immediately leaping into a relationship with her hot neighbour? The author had the opportunity to make her a great independent heroine, but failed miserably.

The central mystery was hardly even dealt with- the author spent more time with Peyton’s relationships than dealing with the Axeman. That was the only reason I bothered finishing this book, so to have it all wrapped up very simply with no consequences or answers was a huge let down.

Maybe things are dealt with better in the rest of the series… I don’t know. But I won’t be sticking around to find out. To quote Peyton: this was “Blah”.

1/5 Stars

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2 thoughts on “Review: Ghouls Rush In by H.P. Mallory

  1. Pingback: Reader Problems Book Tag! | bookarahma

  2. Pingback: Top Ten Tuesday: Things I Like and Dislike in Romance Novels | bookarahma

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